…MarK…18…

-..In that moment in time when I first saw you.. something that had been standing still inside me started to move ever so slowly..-

-..It’s moving.. It’s accelerating.. As if to regain lost time.. As the same speed as her.. I’m probably.. Moving forward..-

-..There are times when you see too much of someone.. and stop understanding.. I think I just realize that for the first time.. That.. It’s just not.. Words..-

-..When she’s crying.. She seems so small.. When she blushes.. She’s very cute.. When she’s mad.. She’s more than I can handle.. Such a person as you.. For you.. I.. Love..-

-..Summer was continuing it.. Days that feel like much has changed.. But not really.. They pass by so slowly.. Just like my relationship.. With.. You..-

-..To be able to have a conversation like that without holding back.. I didn’t think that it would be possible when I first met her.. That’s right.. Me and you.. The two of us..-

-..I don’t want to be separated with her.. I argue with her for the stupidest reasons.. And I feel inferior to her almost all the time.. But still I want to be together with her.. Everyday.. I can’t help it..-

-..This is the way it should be.. I am moving forward.. I was desperately trying to plea against my own heart.. A heart which was trying to fight me.. So.. Desperately..-

-..Ever since that day.. I have this feeling of lost.. As if there is a gaping hole in my heart.. I’m so much wishing that you.. Would be filling it again..-

i really dont know what to do..

can you just..

come back to me..

please..

things are starting to be so complicated..

i dont even know wats ryt from wrong..

wat am i going to choose..

the happiness of others..

or my own happiness..

i know im searching for my life..

i’ve been searching for it this whole time..

but.. what if my life needs a sacrifice before i can have it..

would i sacrifice someone’s happiness for my life..

or my life for theirs??

i started a journey.. a journey to find my life..

but i never thought that my life is this hard to find..

i fell into my knees so many times..

i felt pain in every fall..

so many that im olredi losing hope..

so painful that i cant feel it any more..

sometimes.. i just wanna give up..

but.. when i come and think of it..

what is d fall and pain for??

my life is what im searching for..

i cant just give up after all thats happened..

i keep on standing and walking in this long journey..

i found myself on a place where i am staring at u..

u were like an angel sitting, talking to ur friends..

u made time for me stop and notice nothing but u..

from there.. i saw light..

i wana grab all d chances given to me..

but im just too scared to fall and be hurt again..

but im trying my best to overcome those..

i believe that u can help me overcome them..

that u can show me light in this realm of darkness..

u give me hope.. u give me reasons to breathe..

hope u can also give me wat im searching for..

MY LIFE…

too many complicated questions..

yet.. even one definite answer cant be found..

why did i choose this kind of lyf whole-heartedly??

is one of dos questions..

when i come up with an answer..

that answer has question already on its back..

and its the same with the next other answers..

but.. i rili did choose this.. because i tot..

we cud be something else..

i waited for so long to take a stand on this place..

a place where i can see you everyday..

a place where i can smile with you when you does..

a place where i can talk to you almost everyday..

a place where i can make myself better just because of you..

but wat happened??

the place wer i tot i can find dat light..

became a one hellish place..

it sure feels like hell..

alone in d middle of darkness..

afraid of something..

please..

free me from this hellish place..

be my light..

der was once a frend.. and his frend..

he smiles wen she smiles.. laughs wen she laughs..

cries wen she cries.. and becomes sad wen she does..

on dat frendship days.. they shared every thoughts they had..

they carried their burdens with one another..

but.. the girl doesnt know.. that..

her frend is falling for her day by day.. bit by bit..

the guy tries so hard just to stop his feelings..

but its already too late.. he fell so deeply in love with her..

time passed by.. and the guy gathered enough courage to tell it to her..

to tell her wat he rili feels..

but.. he never thought that wat wud happen is..

the exact opposite of how he wanted it to turn out..

on dos days of loving.. the girl learned how to stay away from her frend..

from then on.. everything changed..

he sees her smile.. but not to him..

he sees her laugh.. but not with him..

he sees her sad.. but he cant go near her..

he sees her cry.. but not on his shoulder..

he wants everything back.. but he doesnt know how to..

he wanted to try to get near her again.. but..

he’s afraid dat wen he does.. she might just lenghten their gap..

he cant do anything but to watch her..

everyday.. everynight.. it’s ol he can do..

he became a total stranger to her..

someone wished to be someone..

someone you could smile wid..

laugh wid.. cuddle wid..

but can somebody be another person??

hell yeah.. he knows he cant..

he knows that life is so bitter..

that you cant get things in just an instant..

but why is he such a coward??

afraid of taking hardships..

and losing everything in the end??

why is he such a pessimistic person..

thinking that he cant get those things..

without even trying something??

and at the end.. is he left with something??

or did his frightening vision..

of losing everything happened??

he did carry such a big burden..

on sacrificing his feelings..

so he wont lose everything..

but after that.. it’s like..

he carried the weight of the world..

when he tried to keep everything..

but lost in the end..

now.. his wish had change..

can he just have every bit of courage on earth??

another impossible wish..

a wish from his heart..

that he wishes to be granted..

after a loss.. here i go again..

why do i have this kind of filing??

i fall too easily..

just a tap.. and there i am..

before i know it.. i’ve olredi fallen..

am i created to be hurt??

now that i think of it..

it depends on d 1 my heart calls..

but why with you??

someone who just wanted me to be a friend..

but u know..

just bein ur friend makes me so happy..

i can txt u if i want..

i can see u smile wen ur just around..

i can lean on u wen i nid someone to lean on to..

there’s so many things i can do just bein a friend..

and im so glad about it..

but can we explore deeper??

can u give me d reason why i feel lyk dis??

y i always wait for ur reply..

y i txt u d same message until u reply..

y i pray that u’ll walk in front of me again..

y i see u smile in whatever i do..

there’s too many y’s………………. but there’s only one u..

how i hope it could b u..

i hope i had a bestial heart..

for it not to fall in love and fall apart..

but something stops me from having just a bit..

my heart already fell and im not regretting it..

i hope i had a strength of a beast..

to fight this war lessen the pain at least..

but something stops me from fighting..

you are my enemy and the one im loving..

im so so so much confused..

wat do i hve to do??

wen u’r olredi not replying to my txts..

i’m just thinking of a reason dat wont put me down..

like ur just busy or something..

but after u knew those things..

added reasons come to my head..

like.. naiilang ka na or something..

do i have to give up wat i fil for you..

for our friendship not to end??

or.. do i have to fyt for it..

for our relationship to get deeper??

two choices which requires a vey hard decision..

but.. cant we just venture life together??

make our own fairytale..

and put a happy ending to it??

haiizz..

"so tired of w8ng 4 d ryt 1…"

im not sure how long will i w8 4 her…

how vast d space is 4 our eyes 2 mit…

is it better for us to w8 4 dat day…

or is it d tym 4 me to make my move???

but d question is… wer can i find her???

"so sick of falling in love with d rong person…"

how many more times will i be hurt???

just because of making a rong choice…

choice of luving d rong 1 4 me…

but wat rili can i do???

can any1 say dat ur loving d rong 1???

"so thirsty of feeling d ril luv im searching…"

a love which will last 4ever…

a love which will drive me ril crazy…

a love which will make me complete…

a love which will be there no matter wat happens…

a love which wont make me thirst for love…